huge mistake

i hung out with chris, i knew i should of left early, but we watched a movie, so we got food. i ate alot. like a pizza and onion rings and poutine. im so fucking mad, like uncontrollably upset. i cant believe i did that. i have 10 days to lose as much as i can. and i cant work off everything i ate. its not possible. so for the next 10 days at most i can have per day is 30 calories. no more. and thats only if i really have to. 
i hate this so much. 

death by chocolate

ive got to throw away the chocolate mix and the sugar, i cant keep having chocolate sauce. i know that. its horrible, and pointless. plus soup and chocolate mixed coming up, is really gross. from now on, its only salsa and salad. with yogurt occasionally.

not a bad day

i skipped the yogurt this morning and work was busy, so i didnt have to eat at all today. its getting close to dinner time tho. chris`s mom was trying to get me to stay for dinner, and she was telling me all these really good foods they were going to have. it was terrible. i dont think i could ever eat cheese again. =[

morning

morning, its still dark. 
75 calories yogurt, im going to try to eat half. 
itll take app. 30 minutes, then push ups and sit ups for 30-40 minutes then leave for work.
woot

today was horrible

i woke up and did laundry and i was craving soo many things, that i cant focus to much on atm. but i decided to make pancakes with chocolate sauce. can you say, bad idea? lol so i made an entire plate full of pancakes, ate almost the entire thing in 8 minutes, and got rid of all of it. its 2 in the morning and i work in 5 and a half hours. 
im going to the movies after work tho, so im really just trying to stay positive. in the morning things will be better, il walk to work, and be busy for 7 hours and then ill walk home and get changed for the movies and itll be fine. right?  ugh

tossed cookies

ate a cup of yogurt, then purged. everything but the vanilla yogurt i had at work. which was only 55 calories.
although, 40% of the calories i had eaten were, im assuming, already absorbed, brings the total up to
132 calories. which is alright, its not terrible and i can live with it.

screaming rage of anger!

i had salsa and peas. 130 calories. 
failure. that brings todays total up to
205 calories. way to be pathetic

i hate midnights

im starting to really hate work.
however, i did get to make a plan for april.
go april. lol

yogurt- 55 calories
mushrooms- 20 calories
im planning on not eating for the rest of the day.
75 should be enough since im off today, and shouldnt even be eating anything. -.-

defying logic

so, i think ive been eating too much, because there is just no progress. nothing. 
i feel empty, like hollow. i always tell myself, ill just try harder, push myself more and itll
be alright. i know ive been slipping lately, going over what my goals are. thats my fault, no one elses.
its hard to think that this is it. =/

spring

march 22-

yogurt- 30 calories

march 23-

yogurt- 30 calories

march 24-

sandwich- 220 calories

march 25-

peas- 15 calories
peanut butter- 90 calories
march 26-
peanut butter- 11 calories
tuna- 60 calories
march 29-
soup- 45 calories
crystal light- 3 calories
1/8 sandwich- 45 calories
march 30-
soup- 210 calories
salad- 85 calories
yogurt- 10 calories
march 31- 
soup- 200 calories
peas- 60 calories 


total from march 22-31 = 1114 calories